Yellowstone National Park Sucks

If my rants bore you, then jump ahead to the pix:

Yes, you read that right. Let me say it again. YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK SUCKS! I know that I can be a judgemental prick sometimes, but Disneyworld has less people than YNP. I actually began today thinking that I was going to take it easy, that I would finally relax. I wouldn’t push hard on the car nor would I get upset at drivers, nothing was going to interrupt my relaxation…I was as calm as a Hindu cow until I made it to Yellowstone. How is it that a National Park actually brings on stress to a person. Hmmm….

For starters, if you’ve seen one geyser, you’ve probably seen all of them. Now, Old Faithful is slightly different because its larger, but golly folks do you have to stop at every single geothermal activity in the park? The park’s major attractions are predominately geothermal, so every 1000 ft is another fissure or spring…which means Joe Bob and Sue need to take their fat asses out of their SUV to inspect it.

Furthermore, how many other national parks actually have full villages, almost cities embedded inside the borders? I hope none, because these atrocities are an environmental hypocracy.

Hold on, I’m just getting started with this rant. How many other national parks have parking lots that can hold more cars than all of the Seahawk parking lots. I mean, there were more people at Old Faithful than I’ve seen attend some Mariners games. They actually had stadium seating around the geyser.  Don’t you people have homes? Thank God they don’t know that the most amazing national park in the US is just 5 hours north, otherwise they might just go there.

I also realize that I’m a spoiled brat when it comes to premier outdoor vistas, however, the last forest fire has made Yellowstone look like a big ashtray. There’s barely any cliffs, no tall snow covered mountains, nothing that I have seen a thousand times already. This park is the polar opposite of Glacier National Park — its just plain boring.

The one jewel of the park, that most people take for granted, is the wildlife. I enjoy watching people jump out of their cars to see how close they can actually get to a buffalo. One tried to approach me in my car and I was scared shitless. I took a very quick picture and got the hell out of there. Not Joe Bob and Sue… you’d think they were asking the buffalo to pose for a Playboy centerfold or something.

Hereís my route today. The best part of today was leaving Yellowstone. The landscape just east of the park is amazing, and it almost made up for the wasted day in YNP. I even stopped at a skull store (run out of someoneís house!). The Buffalo Bill Cody park and dam is breathtaking.

Tonight, Iím in Cody, WY. Very cool town, kinda pricey for the West though. Lots of city folk (like me) stay here before heading into or leaving Yellowstone. So the smart people of Wyoming milk them dryÖthatís the American way. Tomorrow, Iím heading east to Devilís Tower (I was thinking I should create a mashed potato sculpture of it beforehand). Iím expecting it to be clear driving and very hot!


#1 re: Yellowstone National Park Sucks

12:00:00 AM Thursday, Jun 23 2005

Told you so

#2 re: Yellowstone National Park Sucks

12:00:00 AM Thursday, Jun 23 2005


#3 Hill Billy Express

12:00:00 AM Thursday, May 22 2008

It was a sad day yesterday as I bid farewell to both Ella and Ellen as they flew back to the West Coast.

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